Archive for June, 2007

28
Jun

Home, Home on the Range

By LockedDown 3 Comments
Categories: Staff

Just wanted to let everyone know that some of the stories will be slowing down for about 5 to 6 weeks as I am headed off to the Academy on the 9th. I might have a few stories but from what I hear the Academy is like Vegas, “What happens at the Academy, Stays at the Academy!”

However, I do have a gripe about what happened today at the range. We are in the classroom (Ha! It is actually a mobile home next to the range as our range is on the prison grounds, just about a mile away from the actual prison.) The ENTIRE morning is spent covering nothing but firearm safety and range safety. Sometime in the morning one of my fellow cadets ask our instructor and range master if he could bring in his personal firearm for the instructor to look at as he was an accomplished gunsmith as well. He was told he could as long as it was unloaded and he didn’t bring any ammo for the weapon.

After lunch we are standing outside and I am talking to the our instructor just shooting the breeze. This cadet walks up to use holding an empty magazine and his Glock 9MM handgun. This isn’t weird since we all heard him ask permission. The thing is this jackass was talking towards with the slide closed and he is covering everyone standing around with the muzzle of this weapon.

I have known this guy for a few days (he is a new cadet) and for all I know that thing is loaded. The instructor and I both catch it at the same time and both of us in unison begin to do the “Hey Jackass, You are pointing a weapon at me dance.” You know what I mean, right? We are bobbin’ and weavin’ like someone is actually shooting at us trying to get out of the way of the barrel. The instructor is yelling at the guy with some choice words and I am yelling at him telling him he has about .2 seconds to uncover me with that weapon or I am going to point one at him that I know is loaded.

I couldn’t believe we just spent the better part of the morning discussing gun safety and this fool is walking around pointing a gun a 12 people at random. It is going to be a LONG 7 days on the range with this guy. Please remember me in your prayers. I am likely to end up with a slug in my ass.

25
Jun

Cutting Yourself is BAD.

By LockedDown 2 Comments
Categories: Inmates and News

Welp.. another crazy day at the wall.

I am working a unit that requires everyone from all 4 floors to help with running yard (Running yard is a term used to describe taking the inmates out to the exercise yard). We are about to start when a phone call comes in that some assistance is needed on the Medium DU (Disciplinary Unit). Me and another officer head on down. We were told on the phone that the officer on duty in this unit was not injured or in danger so we “mosied” on down.

I wasn’t quite prepared for what I had to witness next.

We arrived and were let in the front door and the officer on duty advised us that he had an inmate that was naked and bent over in the fetal position in his cell. There was massive blood and vomit everywhere on the cell floor so this guy was either REALLY sick and throwing up blood or he had cut himself (which usually only happens on the mental ward). Either way, we had to go in and get him.

I put on my trusty kevlar lined gloves to protect my hands and we open up the door. The sergeant that was with me grabs this inmate by the arm and asks him if he is alright. At that moment, my manhood weeped a little on the inside. We saw where the blood was coming from.

This jackass had removed a razor blade from his disposable razor. He then took this razor and proceed to try to castrate himself. He sliced his scrotum from the base of his penis downward to the bottom. And yes, you guessed it, his testicle were hanging outside.

I won’t quote what the sergeant said as this is meant to be a PG13 site but lets just say that sailors around the world were blushing at the time. I actually almost felt bad for the guy.. ALMOST. I snapped back to reality and remember that this dumbass did this to himself.

We wrapped him in sheet, cuffed him up, and drove him to medical.

While they were stitching him up, we asked, What the hell were you thinking? His response? “I was hot and wanted some air conditioning and the infirmary has A/C.”

WHOA WHOA WHOA Buddy! You tried to cut off your own gonads just to get some A/C? An all new level of stupidity had just been invented and yes folks, I got to witness it. I will now forever live on as the guy who helped the dumbest person alive carry his testicles across the prison.

And now for the kicker….

The A/C in the infirmary had gone out about 20 minutes before we got there. The doctor stitched him up and we took him back to the same lockup that he left. The 2 hours we spent in the hot infirmary gave the cleanup crew time to get it ready for him.

This moron will be off to the Fun House (mental unit) in the morning.

13
Jun

Doc Dial has Gone to the Big House in the Sky

By LockedDown 1 Comment
Categories: Information, Inmates and News

It was very odd. I was setting up an internet forum for Correctional Officers at PrisonOfficer.Org and one of the members ask me about ol’ Doc Dial. If you don’t know who Doc Dial is, he is famous for kidnapping the Deputy Warden’s wife (actually, most think she helped him and they ran off together).

Randolph Franklin “Doc” DialRandolph Franklin “Doc” Dial was serving a life sentence for murder when he escaped. He allegedly kidnapped the Deputy Warden’s wife, Bobbi Parker, from the Oklahoma State Reformatory in Granite, Oklahoma. He was gone 13 years and still swore till the day he died that she was not a willing participant in the escape.

The weird thing is, I had heard about him be never knew what he looked like. When one of the forum members asked me how he was doing I replied, “I am sure he is locked in his house enjoying life.” Boy was I wrong. Doc Dial actually passed away the SAME day he asked me about him. To make things weirder (is that a word?), I had to help in the infirmary a week before as there were no male officers present. While there we took vitals and we pulled this stinky, old, decrepit man out of one of the holding cells to get him showered. One of the orderlies took him and bathed him and when he came back he was lucid and smelling much better. He looked up at me with some tired eyes and thanked me for the shower. He said I just added some time on to his life as he was really in need of that.

I have discovered the meaning of life and immortality! A shower must add one week to your life as that is how long Dial lasted. One more week. The doctors hadn’t given him much time to live so he most likely just gave out while he slept. I did notice when we showered him that while he was off the oxygen for about 1-2 minutes he was struggling very hard to breathe. It is pure speculation but he might have rolled over and knocked his oxygen tube from his nose while he slept. They found him face down and gone in the morning.

He was well spoken and pleasant when I spoke to him. Funny that I didn’t know who he was or put two and two together until after the fact. I might have had a few questions of my own for him.

Adios Doc, Enjoy your new stint in that Big House in the Sky.

Link the the article on KFAQ Tulsa Talk Radio

05
Jun

Laziness is a disease!

By LockedDown 1 Comment
Categories: Information

Laziness. It is rampant in prison. You would think that the inmates having to sit in a small cell all day long, only leaving it for maybe an hour, would JUMP at the chance for some outside air. The chance to move around..

NOPE!

At our prison we have a Medium Security unit as well. These guys are generally the workers. They push chow carts, they mow the main central yard, they help in the infirmary, they work in the laundry. The live in a hot, unairconditioned basement. Hell. when I am working down there I myself would push carts just to get out and move around a bit.

There is one inmate, we will call him inmate Lazy Like Mule. Now you make think I am being racist or politically incorrect, but this particular inmate is in fact a Native American, and is in fact, lazy like a damn mule.

He is ALWAYS the last one out. I have to wake him up in the middle of the afternoon 2-4 times to get him up. Once up.. he takes about 3-5 minutes to put on his shoes. Then, he must go to the bathroom for another 2-4 minutes. All this time, 9 other inmates and the escort officer are waiting on his lazy ass.

Well, today we had a few words.

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